Preface
Greetings,
While responding to an online friend’s questions about my thoughts on doubt, it occurred to me to take a look at all that had been written about it since I began scribing in 1989. Another friend had suggested I do this several years ago, and I had filed it on the back-burner of possible projects. The creative juices took hold, and this is the PDF result, with thoughts from all the major titles: The Stillness Before Time, The Ponderings of Yaj Ekim, Breadcrumbs, and The Return to Wonder.
A PDF is available at:
Doubt, Doubt & More Doubt
http://thestillnessbeforetime.com/doubtdoubtandmoredoubt.pdf
Writing has been an enjoyable process ever since I first began toying with prose; scribbling poetry, keeping journals, corresponding with friends and acquaintances during the college daze. The philosophical/mystical/whatever-you-want-to-call-them thoughts, that have been popping into mind since 1989, have always been very out-of-the-blue spontaneous. Nothing planned or forced about them. They are being shared on the off chance that others may find them of interest, though, quite frankly, it really does not matter if no one else ever even reads them, for I am, first and foremost, my own audience. I got mine, so to speak. I played my little part. I had my share of fun. And it is, as it has ever been, up to each to discern their own, on their own. There are really no followers in this Don Quixote quest; only earnest seekers, who waylay their desires and fears and dreads, enough to discern that which is the end to doubt, the end to dueling with windmills. “Yay” if it is your fate to figure it out. “Oh well” if it is not. And “so it goes” either way, really. Ecclesiastes 1:2 is always a good reminder: “Vanity of vanities,” saith the Preacher, “Vanity of vanities. All is vanity.” Awareness can only, with great effort, regain control, regain sovereignty, from the usurper, imagination, creator of all that is time, creator of all that is space. Creator of all that is illusion, has never has been anything more than illusion, will never be anything more than illusion. Only as real as the given moment.
“The Stillness Before Time” is the original work that came together in 1992, including mostly aphorisms, an essay, a newspaper question-and-answer, ten reflections, and lists of both movies and books. Though an early self-published version, long since edited and expanded, can be purchased at major booksellers, a downloadable copy is available, no charge, at the link below. There are also links to a variety of blogs of other creations by me, along with links to many writings of a similar nature, by thinkers and seers from across all times, across all geographies.
"The Ponderings of Yaj Ekim" is the second published book, and is both blogged and available as a PDF download.
The “Breadcrumbs” titles, published annually since 2015, all include the core chapters: Leftovers, Soundbites, Breadcrumbs. In the Breadcrumbs chapters, I unleash thoughts of a more personal nature than in the other two. All just to show I was ensconced in a living, breathing, relativity mundane, oftentimes foolish, mortal mind-body. An actor playing the hand that was dealt; same as everyone else, vain as everyone else. No need to sculpt me into more than I was. No need for myths, nor legends, nor fables, nor miracles, nor cult followings, nor any other fictions, any other absurdities, over to which the human mind, and all its imaginary history, has so often given itself. The Breadcrumbs chapters prove me again and again to be yet another Shakespearian player, as full of the limited and arbitrary as anyone else born into this dream of space and time. So please be sure not to shape me, or these many random thoughts, into some dogmatic absurdity. Use them as a launchpad, not an orbit.
“The Return to Wonder” blog is a compendium of aphorisms not included in the three other works: The Stillness Before Time, The Ponderings of Yaj Ekim, and Breadcrumbs. It originally totaled 3,000 pages formatted in 300 ten-page chapters written since 1990-ish. A gradual editing that will likely never be completed, is changing that dynamic into something of a mishmash.
Please note that this sort of wordplay is very haphazard, way too much work to put into any order. Probably best read it in bits and pieces in the here and there. One of those open-to-any-page works. Especially well-suited for coffee shops, coffee tables, and porcelain thrones.
Also note that all writings are always subject to updates and editing, so if you are interested in the most current version – before this house of cards comes tumbling down, and the world grows large again – downloading PDF copies every once and a while might be a reasonable discipline. This applies especially to the current year of Breadcrumbs, which could well be an annual project until the last wheezing breath, though frankly, the temptation to stop writing entirely is not off the table. It is a pleasant way to pass some of the countdown remaining, but it is unlikely there is much ground that has not been wandered by this frame of reference far more than enough already. No matter how many times Sisyphus rolls the boulder up the mountain, it is more than a little doubtful that the blind men and their true-believer followers, will ever discern, ever realize, ever embrace, the elephant in the middle of the room, without fabricating some new form of absurdity. It is the way we roll, it is the way we have always rolled, it is the way we will, far more than probably, always roll. Every species has its limitations, and we have in this mind’s eye, far-exceeded ours.
That said, if you do find these many thoughts at all worth preserving, for whatever times are ahead for this world and all its life forms, please feel free to share them with others who might also appreciate them. Else they may well swiftly slip back into the timeless oblivion from whence they came.
So it goes, either way. I played my part, I said my piece, I had my fun.
All the best,
M
P.S. For best viewing online, using the largest screen you have available to explore my little theme park, is suggested. Scrolling down and down on a phone screen is just not going to give you the same entrée.
P.P.S. Regarding the name Yaj Ekim ... It is just a reverse spelling of the first and middle names ... Michael Jay Holshouser ... Mike Jay ... Yaj Ekim.
P.P.P.S. Coincidently, make of it whatever you will, or will not, Yaj is an Indian boy’s name meaning worshipper, sacrifice, another name for Shiva, a sage. And Ekim is a Turkish name for October meaning “sowing” (of seeds). All kinds of absurdity can be read into that by the many, so-inclined – none of which was in mind when the idea came to reverse the letters to my name. See P.P.S. for details.
P.P.P.P.S. Yes, I am Shiva. And so are You. No, I am not Shiva. And neither are you. Irony and paradox rule.
The Stillness Before Time
Reflections From a Fellow Sojourner
Website
The Stillness Before Time
Reflections From a Fellow Sojourner
https://thestillnessbeforetime.com/
There is really only one Way.
It is without division or boundary.
It is without name or theology.
Awareness is its scripture.
Here now, its venue.
You, its witness.
Your life, the journey.
A PDF is available at:
https://thestillnessbeforetime.com/thestillnessbeforetime.pdf
One Through Thirty
One * 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 * Thirty
Essays
Of the Human Journey
Got God?
Ten Reflections
Blog and PDF
Blog * PDF
Other Resources
Books * Movies * Links * Blogs
Main Blogs & PDF's
(All blogs and PDF's subject to change, so stay tuned)
The Stillness Before Time
Reflections From a Fellow Sojourner
Blog * PDF
The Ponderings of Yaj Ekim
Blog * PDF
Breadcrumbs 2015
Bits and Pieces From a Dream of Time
Blog * PDF
Breadcrumbs 2018
Bits and Pieces From a Dream of Time
Blog * PDF
Breadcrumbs 2019
Bits and Pieces From a Dream of Time
Blog * PDF
Breadcrumbs 2020
Bits and Pieces From a Dream of Time
Blog * PDF
Breadcrumbs 2021
Bits and Pieces From a Dream of Time
Blog * PDF
Breadcrumbs 2022
Bits and Pieces From a Dream of Time
Blog * PDF
Breadcrumbs 2023 & Beyond
Bits and Pieces From a Dream of Time
Blog * PDF
The Return to Wonder
Field Notes From the Unknown
(Major edit underway -- Edited copy colored blue)
Blog * PDF
Blogs & PDF's of Other Works
Michael's Rabbit Hole
A Selection of Breadcrumbs & Other Aphorisms
Blog * PDF
The Call of the Eternal
A Conversation With My Self
Blog * PDF
Imagination: The Great Usurper
Blog * PDF
Lost in Translation
The Human Paradigm's Linguistic Muddle
Blog * PDF
The Gordian Knot of Ethical Thinking
Blog * PDF
Jesus on Prophets
What Any Seer Likely Faces Returning to the Cave of Origin
Blog * PDF
Aftershocks Autumn 2024
Blog * PDF
Of Meaning and Purpose
Ponderings About the Futility of It All
Blog * PDF
Mystery, Mystery & More Mystery
Blog * PDF
Imagination, Imagination & More Imagination
Blog * PDF
Doubt, Doubt & More Doubt
Blog * PDF
Science, Science & More Science
Blog * PDF
History, History & More History
Blog * PDF
Patterns, Patterns & More Patterns
Blog * PDF
Reincarnation, Reincarnation & More Reincarnation
Blog * PDF
Standouts From the Return to Wonder Edit
Selections From the First Sixteen Chapters
Blog * PDF
Of the Human Journey
Along with Got God? And Ten Reflections
Blog * PDF
To Be or Not to Be
Blog * PDF
The Mystery of the Mystery
Blog * PDF
Who Was the First?
Blog * PDF
The Real is Discovering
Blog * PDF
59 Moments to The Way It Is (And Is Not)
The Scribe's Guide to the Great Whatthe#$*!?
Blog * PDF
Definitions
An Incomplete Selection 0f Contemplative Definitions
Blog * PDF
Conversations
A Variety of Letters, Emails, Texts, & Sundry Odd 'n Ends
Blog * PDF
Titles, Titles & More Titles
Blog * PDF
Even More
Blog * PDF
Sketches of the Once Upon a Time
A Few Epiphanies and Other Hallmark Moments
Blog * PDF
The Corollaries of Yaj Ekim
Blog * PDF
Possible Last Words & Epitaphs
Blog * PDF
The Standard Ripostes
The Scribe's Go-to Responses to This and That in the Day-To-Day
Blog * PDF
My (Not Quite) Haiku
Blog * PDF
Jester Amok
Blog * Facebook * Facebook (Original)
Uncle Sam Says
Blog * Facebook
Once Upon a Christmas
Blog * PDF
Ditties for the Bluegrass Pyre
Blog * PDF
A Short List of Books for the Up and Coming
Some Written Works That May Help Get the Young up to Speed
Blog * PDF
Spam Responses (a.k.a., WTF Is This Shit!?)
Blog * PDF
A Collection of Miscellaneous Creations
Final Exit and Related Links
COVID-19 Information Links
The Blind Men and the Elephant
Of A Philosophical Nature
The Four Agreements
The Joyful Curmudgeon
12 Rules You Can Live By
Quotes, Quotes & More Quotes
Fichier Circulaire de Michael
How to Work in Any Environment
50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School
Election 2016: The Rise (and Fall?) of Donald Trump
Michael's Little Warehouse of All Things Amusing, Absurd & Profound
Other Blogs and PDF's by Michael
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Yaj Ekim
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Nine Translations of the Ashtavakra Gita
The Heart of Awareness (Byrom)
Ashtavakra Gita (Marshall)
Bitten by the Black Snake (Schoch)
Ashtavakra Gita (Richards)
A Duet of One (Balsekar)
Astavakra Samhita (Wood)
Ashtavakra Gita (Shastri)
Ashtavakra Gita (Saraswati)
Ashtavakra Gita (Vedic Scriptures)
PDF's of Nine Translations of the Ashtavakra Gita
The Heart of Awareness (Byrom)
Ashtavakra Gita (Marshall)
Bitten by the Black Snake (Schoch)
Ashtavakra Gita (Richards)
A Duet of One (Balsekar)
Astavakra Samhita (Wood)
Ashtavakra Gita (Shastri)
Ashtavakra Gita (Saraswati)
Ashtavakra Gita (Vedic Scriptures)
Ashtavakra Gita: I Am Shiva
Ashtavakra Gita: I Am Shiva
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Ashtavakra Gita: I Am Shiva
I Am Shiva Comparison Chart
Four Translations of the Avadhuta Gita
Avadhuta Gita: Song of the Ever-Free (Marshall)
Song of the Avadhut (Abhayananda)
Avadhut Gita (Shastri)
Avadhuta Gita: The Song of the Ascetic (Sinha)
PDF's of Four Translations of the Avadhuta Gita
Avadhuta Gita: Song of the Ever-Free (Marshall)
Song of the Avadhut (Abhayananda)
Avadhut Gita (Shastri)
Avadhuta Gita: The Song of the Ascetic (Sinha)
Translations of Other Ancient Writings
Tao Te Ching: Verse One
Tao Te Ching (Marshall)
Bhagavad Gita (Marshall)
Yoga Sutras (Marshall)
Dhammapada (Marshall)
Ecclesiastes (Marshall)
Atma Bodha (Chinmayananda)
The Essence of the Ribhu Gitaj (Aiyer)
Yoga Vasishta Sara (Ramasramam)
Crest-Jewel of Discrimination (Madhavananda)
Mandukya Upanishad & Mandukya Karika of Gaudapada (Panoli)
Gaudapada: Advaita Vedanta's First Philosopher (Jones)
Translations of Ancient Writings by Bart Marshall
Avadhuta Gita: Song of the Ever-Free
Ashtavakra Gita
Tao Te Ching
Bhagavad Gita
Yoga Sutras
Dhammapada
Ecclesiastes
Writings by Bart Marshall
Verses Regarding True Nature
One Hundred Two Haiku
* * * * * * * * * *
Doubt, Doubt & More Doubt
© Michael J. Holshouser 2022
World Rights Reserved
Michael J. Holshouser
1112 Cedar Creek Drive, Unit 4
Modesto, California 95355-5213
The United States of America
Pronunciation: Holtzhowzer
All have the express written encouragement
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Who have the eyes to see and the ears to hear
The mystery in which each and every one
Equally participates in so many ways